*image is Vivienne Rose

I’ve just never wanted to. I’ve had guys try to get me to go with them to one before. At my old job there was a club a few blocks away that guys used to sometimes go to after work, or even during lunchtime (because it also served food), but I never joined them. One of my co-workers now has told me about this club he goes to, where he swears that there’s a stripper who looks just like a very attractive woman we know, which I’ll admit is an intriguing idea, but I’m still not going with him. I just don’t get the appeal of it. It’s as if I’m missing that one particular “stripper gene” that most men seem to have. I mean, I love beautiful women, & I love beautiful NAKED women, but I have no interest in watching a beautiful naked woman dancing on a stage. I’ve seen strippers on TV & in music videos & it just seems kinda silly. Dancing on a poll, lapdances, whatever.

I guess the thing that really kills it for me is that there’s no “payoff,” y’know? If I’m with a woman who wants to strip for me, in my house, as a prelude to sex, then that’s different. THAT would be exciting. But when you’re at a club and she’s going to strip, dance around & then go away, it’s like, what’s in it for me? And, on top of that, I’m paying for it? That’s almost insulting to me. Like, you’re so damn hot, that I’m going to pay you money (on top of already paying the club, just to get in here), so that you’ll allow me the privilege of seeing you naked for a few minutes? No thanks. I happen to have an extremely vivid imagination. I can just picture you naked in my head. Still no payoff, but at least that’s free (& what I imagine is probably better-looking than the real thing, anyway).

Speaking of naked women, there’s something I will confess. Several years ago, in a moment of credit card-induced impulse-shopping weakness, I actually ordered two of those damn Girls Gone Wild dvd’s. I was home, the commercial came on, 2 for just $9.99! So, what the heck, I called the 800 number. This thing was so friggin’ lame, man. I felt like such a darn moron for wasting my money on that. Seriously. The novelty of it wore off after about the first 2 minutes of the thing. I ended up fast-forwarding through it all. Even the girl-girl action wasn’t at all erotic since you can hear all these drunken guys shouting in the background the whole time. I can’t imagine that any guy over the age of 13 would actually be “getting off” to this. Seriously, just save the money & go buy some real actual porn, not this garbage.

*gifs are of Lillias Right