Rolling Stone twins are on the way for guitarist Ronnie Wood and his third wife, Sally Humphreys, 37. While his wife is only two years younger than his first child, the rocker says he can’t wait to be a father again and doesn’t think his age is a problem, according to Houston Chronicle.

The Rolling Stone legend, 68, had his first child, Jesse, in 1976. Wood added three other children since to his expanding brood, but no twins.

READ MORE

First off, let me state for the record that I am a lifelong fan of The Rolling Stones. You could say that I’m a Second Generation Fan, having inherited my love of their music from my mother, who grew up listening to them. In my opinion, they are probably The Greatest Rock Band of All Time. In particular, I have always thought that they were much better than their over-rated contemporaries, The Beatles.

YEAH, I SAID IT!

Anyway, reading this news the other day, I just can’t help but roll my eyes. Now, everyone who knows me knows how I just hate to be judgmental about other people’s personal lives.

No, seriously.

But, I mean, well, COME ON. This is absurd.

I’m not knocking anyone for a May/December relationship (although, yeah, that’s kinda weird, too), but why the heck are you having children at this age?!? The children are due in June, which also happens to be the month of his birthday. He will be 69 years old when these children are born. He’ll be 79 when they’re 10, and will be in his 80’s while they’re in their teens.

I’ve written before about how children can wipe me out, and that’s in my late 30’s, I can’t even imagine trying to keep up with small children in my 70’s (and have to deal with teenage drama in my 80’s). Yeah, Wood is obviously in better-than-average shape for his age, to still be able to go on tour, as the Stones have been doing for over 50 years, but still.

And, yes, of course, I know it’s not like he has to do all the physical stuff himself, as I’m sure he’ll have a small army of nannys, cooks, maids, etc., to help raise these children. I doubt that he personally (or his wife) will be the one getting up at 3am to change diapers, but I still don’t think this is a good idea. And why would he want to do this?

I mean, I hate to be cynical-

Okay, shut up.

-but I can’t help but speculate on the wife’s motivation, wondering if this is just a way for her to make sure she’s locked down a piece of the Rolling Stones fortune for herself now, by producing some heirs (note: the Rolling Stones earned over $100 million just this year)? But Ronnie Wood should know better.

Again, yes, these children will be raised in the lap of financial luxury, at least. But I think there’s an emotional cost. You’re creating children while pretty much guaranteeing that will not have their father for most of their lives. Yes, I’m being morbid, but he’ll be 89 when they’re 20, if he even lives that long. I know life isn’t certain, you could have kids at 21 and be dead a year later, but odds are pretty good that these kids will not be able to have their father at their wedding, or meet their children, or be their for many other milestones in their lives. And we don’t know how much longer he’ll be “active”, he could be in a wheelchair and senile when they’re teenagers, this is just stuff kids shouldn’t have to deal with.

So, I’m sorry, this just feels “wrong” to me. But I do wish them all the best (really).