Well, first of all, let me just state for the record that I would NOT want to change my mother, whom I love dearly (my father, on the other hand, is a different story). And even if I didn’t, I obviously can’t. This is just a harmless little hypothetical thought experiment.

That being said, my answer is easy:

Bill and Melinda Gates! DUH

As to why? Well, there is the little fact that Bill Gates happens to be THE RICHEST PERSON ON THE PLANET. His networth, as I type this, is 87.5 billion dollars.

Seriously, I can’t even comprehend that level of wealth, or what it must be like to have that. My mind just can’t stretch that far.

It should be noted that Bill and Melinda have three children, two daughters and a son. And Bill has pledged that he and Melinda will be leaving the bulk of their fortune to charity, not to their children.

[Bill] Gates said: ‘Our kids will receive a great education and some money so they are never going to be poorly off but they’ll go out and have their own career. It’s not a favor to kids to have them have huge sums of wealth. It distorts anything they might do, creating their own path.’

Fine with me! I actually agree with that. It’s been reported elsewhere that at most he plans to leave his children $10 million each, which isn’t $87.5 billion (or $29 billion, if you split that 3 ways), but it’s not exactly chump change. But the point is to look at the childhood’s they have as Bill and Melinda Gates children. First it’s living in THIS high-tech mega mansion:

They’ll never go hungry. When they get sick they get the best doctors. You know they’re getting a first class education from Elementary to High School, with private tutors to help them on any subject they need. And if they want to go to college then tuition is paid for wherever they get into (The Gates’ oldest child is currently at Standford, the other two are still teens). So with all of those advantages, they should be set to accomplish whatever they want to pursue when they become adults, without needing their parents money. Who wouldn’t love to have that kind of “head start?”

So that’s my pick.

A close-second choice with would be, assuming that they could have stayed happily married and no drugs or Scientology:

That’s right. Imagine being their kid. With them, it’s not even about inheriting money, but rather those genes. Part of me always wanted to be a singer, but I can’t sing. So having the DNA of Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley inside of me? I mean, I know there’s guarantee about talent, but you figure I’d have to have at least a decent singing voice, right? And then I could work with that. Heck, Janet Jackson is not the best singer, nowhere near as good as Michael, but she became a huge pop star on her own right. While I know there would be huge expectations and astronomical shoes to fill, I would work my buttocks off to live up to them. I’d take, piano, guitar, bass, and drum lessons, singing lessons, and dance lessons, and launch my own music career.

Hopefully they would have named me ELVIS JACKSON…