Note: This is a “softcore” film, which includes (mostly female) nudity, and many instances of simulated sex, as well as some small implied violence. Not intended for children. This review contains spoilers but, let’s face it, you don’t watch movies like this for the “plot” anyway.
This film is about David Carter, who has been having a recurring “nightmare” about 3 busty topless women, whom he has never met, tying him up somewhere out in the woods, where has never been, dancing around him erotically before attempting to plunge a knife into his chest (that’s when he always wakes up). David decides to do the only logical thing, and go drive out into the woods to look around and see if anything looks familiar to him, thinking that maybe this will help him understand what his dreams mean.
David takes his understanding wife, Tiffany (played by softcore film legend, Monique Parent) with him, and @ one point they get out of the car, look around, and then have sex in the middle of the woods.
Then they drive some more, but the car inexplicably breaks down, in the middle of nowhere, and their cell-phone’s can’t get reception, so they walk to the nearest house to ask for help. There they meet Lola , Felicia, and Rebecca, 3 women who look exactly like the women in David’s dreams. Lola says that they are writers, who have rented the house for the summer, in order to research the legend of “LaCaCanya” (described as a snake woman with wings), an ancient local ghost. Since the phones are out, Lola invites David & Tiffany to stay the night, and try calling for help in the morning.
The couple are both feeling a little tired (due to some drugs that Lola slipped into their drinks), and so David decides to take a little nap, while Tiffany heads to the outdoor jacuzzi, strips naked, and gets in. Felicia and Rebecca soon join her, also naked, in the jacuzzi, and the three women proceed to, well, not actually “have sex”, but, more accurately, to rub up against each other, kissing, caressing, and licking each other’s bodies (mostly, the breasts). I recall one review I read stating that, at one point during this pseudo-lesbian session, it looks as if the more slender & moderately-built Monique Parent is about to be knocked out by the two sets of over-endowed breasts that are banging her in the face.
Meanwhile, Lola confronts David, who is just getting out of the shower, in his room and he reveals that he recognized her and the other women from his dream, and then they have sex.
Later that night, Lola, Felicia, and Rebecca are outside, in front of large bonfire, discussing how they need to keep David “entranced” for the next 24 hours, and they proceed to strip off their clothes and dance around for awhile.
Then a strange woman enters David & Tiffany’s room while they are sleeping, and wakes David up. She proceeds to seduce him, and they have sex right there in the room, while Tiffany continues to sleep.
Afterward, the woman warns him that he must leave immediately, because he is in danger, and then she leaves. The next morning, David wakes up in bed alone, and goes out to look for Tiffany. Lola, Felicia, and Rebecca are in the kitchen, and tell him that Tiffany went out for a walk, so he goes out to the woods to look for her.
He can’t find her, but he does run into the mysterious woman from last night, who again warns him to leave, telling him that LaCaCanya is coming to take him soon, and then she runs away again. Rebecca appears, and tells him that the woman he saw was Holly, a crazy woman from the local town who is always making up stories. Then Rebecca seduces David, and they have sex in the woods. Afterward, they head back to the house, where Tiffany is in the kitchen with Lola and Felicia, who tells them some more about the story of LaCaCanya.
She was a woman, from the early 19th century, born in those woods, living alone, until the early settlers came in and stole her land. They burned down her cabin, while she was still alive. And as she burned, she cursed the land, vowing to return to get revenge on the descendants of her killers. Rumors are that she haunts the woods now, occasionally capturing an unsuspecting camper, and then having sex with so passionately that the camper dies of a heart attack afterward.
Felicia offers to take David back out to the woods, to show her the spot where LaCaCanya dies, while Tiffany goes upstairs to take a bath. Lola and Rebecca soon enter the bathroom, and ask if they can join Tiffany, who readily agrees, and we’re treated to another slow licking/kissing/caressing session.
Meanwhile, out in the woods, Felicia shows David a tree, which he recognizes as the spot where he is tied up in his dreams, and then the two of them have sex up against the tree.
David seems to pass-out right after the sex is over, because we next see him waking up, alone, by the tree. As it starts to get dark, David runs back to the house, and finds it empty. Holly appears again, and tells him that the women, whom she refers to as “the daughters of LaCaCanya” have Tiffany, but that they really want David, because he is the last of the descendants of the men who killed LaCaCanya. She hands him a dagger, which she says he’ll need to kill the spirit, and then takes him to the area where the women have Tiffany.
We see Tiffany tied up, in the same area where David was tied up in his dreams, while Rebecca & Lola are dancing around her, as Felicia stands by a bonfire, summoning LaCaCanya. A woman (presumably LaCaCanya, though she looks more like a modern day stripper, and not like the snake woman with wings that Lola described earlier in the film) magically appears in front of the other women, and David runs up and stabs her, and then she, Lola, Rebecca, Felicia, and Holly disappear. David and Tiffany hug, and the movie comes to an end.
What can you say about a movie like this? How do you rate it? The film doesn’t pretend to be anything other than what it is. Unlike the classic softcore films of the 80’s and early 90’s (think all of those early Shannon Tweed and Shannon Whirry that would dominate late-night Cinemax & Showtime) there are only the barest attempt @ a storyline & plot, and not much attention paid to logic. No one is winning any acting awards here (though Monique Parent & Joe Souza, who plays David, do a fairly convincing job in their roles), & that’s not the point anyway.
In terms of sex-appeal, this is an A-list cast. Julie K Smith, Glori-Anne Gilbert, and Stormy Daniels, who play the three “witches”, are all gorgeous women (especially if you happen to like big breasts, and don’t mind if they’re fake), as is Taimie Hannum, who plays Holly.
I have noticed a common criticism of director/producer Jim Wynorski’s films is that he tends to have loud techno-inspired music playing during the sex scenes, as well as having the women occasionally look directly @ the camera, and that is certainly the case in this film. Neither of these things bothers me, but I can see how that could be distracting to some viewers.
In any case, I would give this film a rather high recommendation, to anyone who enjoys this particular genre. I don’t know how they determine success with these types of films, but apparently this was a regular on late-night cable for a couple of years, and has been released on DVD twice, so I assume that is rather good news.
In fact, the 2nd DVD release of this film, is in a double-feature with its sequel. That’s right, it was big enough to spawn a SEQUEL, which I will review next.
Witches of Breastwick can be purchased via Amazon.com:
Witches of Breastwick 1 & 2