THE WITCHES OF BREASTWICK

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Note: This is a “softcore” film, which includes (mostly female) nudity, and many instances of simulated sex, as well as some small implied violence. Not intended for children. This review contains spoilers but, let’s face it, you don’t watch movies like this for the “plot” anyway.

This film is about David Carter, who has been having a recurring “nightmare” about 3 busty topless women, whom he has never met, tying him up somewhere out in the woods, where has never been, dancing around him erotically before attempting to plunge a knife into his chest (that’s when he always wakes up). David decides to do the only logical thing, and go drive out into the woods to look around and see if anything looks familiar to him, thinking that maybe this will help him understand what his dreams mean.

David takes his understanding wife, Tiffany (played by softcore film legend, Monique Parent) with him, and at one point they get out of the car, look around, and then have sex in the middle of the woods.

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Then they drive some more, but the car inexplicably breaks down, in the middle of nowhere, and their cell-phone’s can’t get reception, so they walk to the nearest house to ask for help. There they meet Felicia, Lola, and Rebecca, 3 women who look exactly like the women in David’s dreams.

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Lola says that they are writers, who have rented the house for the summer, in order to research the legend of “LaCaCanya” (described as a snake woman with wings), an ancient local ghost. Since the phones are out, Lola invites David & Tiffany to stay the night, and try calling for help in the morning.

The couple are both feeling a little tired (due to some drugs that Lola slipped into their drinks), and so David decides to take a little nap, while Tiffany heads to the outdoor jacuzzi, strips naked, and gets in. Felicia and Rebecca soon join her, also naked, in the jacuzzi, and the three women proceed to, well, not actually “have sex”, but, more accurately, to rub up against each other, kissing, caressing, and licking each other’s bodies (mostly, the breasts). I recall one review I read stating that, at one point during this pseudo-lesbian session, it looks as if the more slender & moderately-built Monique Parent is about to be knocked out by the two sets of over-endowed breasts that are banging her in the face.

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But don’t feel bad for poor David. While his wife’s out in the out in the hot tub with those other women, he’s indoors getting seduced by Lola.

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In fact that’s just the beginning of David’s good fortune. Later that night, while sleeping in bed with Tiffany, a mysterious woman named Holly appears in the room and seduces him right there while Tiffany is sleeping.

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And then next day he manages to have sexual encounters with first Rebecca, and then later with Felicia, while they’re out in the woods.

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And Tiffany has another lesbian three-way, this time indoors, in a bathtub, with Rebecca and Lola.

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Along the way, we learn some more about “LaCaCanya”. She was a woman from the early 19th century, born in those woods, living alone, until the early settlers came in and stole her land. They burned down her cabin, while she was still alive. And as she burned, she cursed the land, vowing to return to get revenge on the descendants of her killers. Rumors are that she haunts the woods now, occasionally capturing an unsuspecting camper, and then having sex with so passionately that the camper dies of a heart attack afterwards.

David seems to pass-out right after the sex is over, because we next see him waking up, alone, by the tree. As it starts to get dark, David runs back to the house, and finds it empty. Holly appears again, and tells him that the women, whom she refers to as “the daughters of LaCaCanya” have Tiffany, and are preparing to sacrifice her, but that they really want David, because he is the last of the descendants of the men who killed LaCaCanya. She hands him a dagger, which she says he’ll need to kill the spirit, and then takes him to the area where the women have Tiffany.

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Will David it make it in time to save Tiffany? And will he have to sacrifice his own life to do so?!? TUNE IN, TO FINE OUT!!!

No more spoilers.

What can you say about a movie like this? How do you rate it? The film doesn’t pretend to be anything other than what it is. Unlike the classic softcore films of the 80’s and early 90’s (think all of those early Shannon Tweed and Shannon Whirry that would dominate late-night Cinemax & Showtime) there are only the barest attempt at at a storyline & plot, and not much attention paid to logic. No one is winning any acting awards here (though Monique Parent & Joe Souza, who plays David, do a fairly convincing job in their roles), & that’s not the point anyway.

In terms of sex-appeal, this is an A-list cast. Julie K Smith, Glori-Anne Gilbert, and Stormy Daniels, who play the three Lola, Rebecca, and Felicia, respectively, are all gorgeous women (especially if you happen to like big breasts, and don’t mind if they’re fake), as is Taimie Hannum, who plays Holly.

I have noticed a common criticism of director/producer Jim Wynorski’s films is that he tends to have loud techno-inspired music playing during the sex scenes, as well as having the women occasionally look directly at the camera, and that is certainly the case in this film. Neither of these things bothers me, but I can see how that could be distracting to some viewers.

In any case, I would give this film a rather high recommendation, to anyone who enjoys this particular genre. I don’t know how they determine success with these types of films, but apparently this was a regular on late-night cable for a couple of years, and has been released on DVD twice, so I assume that is rather good news.

In fact, the 2nd DVD release of this film, is in a double-feature with its sequel. That’s right, it was big enough to spawn a SEQUEL, which I will review next.

Witches of Breastwick can be purchased via Amazon.com:
Witches of Breastwick 1 & 2

  11 comments for “THE WITCHES OF BREASTWICK

  1. December 31, 2009 at 4:30 AM

    You’re reviewing porn now?

    Like

  2. December 31, 2009 at 4:34 AM

    It’s not porn! There’s no actual sex in either of these films! It’s all just acting. It’s a step above “R” but below “XXX”

    Like

  3. December 31, 2009 at 4:37 AM

    So, lemme guess: You bought it THINKING it was porn, but then watched and found out that it wasn’t, but it was too late for you to return it and get your money back, right?

    Like

  4. December 31, 2009 at 4:39 AM

    Oh shut up.

    Like

  5. December 31, 2009 at 4:40 AM

    lol!

    Like

  6. OMAR
    December 31, 2009 at 8:41 PM

    Sounds like a classic. I’ll have to see if I can add this to my Netflix que.

    Like

  7. January 1, 2010 at 3:13 AM

    Well, it depends on exactly how you define “classic.”

    Like

  8. Jim Wynorski
    March 25, 2010 at 3:41 AM

    Thanks for your lively and entertaining comments.

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 25, 2010 at 2:36 PM

      Hey, Mr. Wynorski! Glad ya like the blog!
      Let me tell you, these two blogs are BY FAR the most viewed blogs I’ve written. Even months later, they get new hits everyday. My stat-counter shows how often each blog is viewed, and it shows the top web searches that bring people to this blog. TWOB 2 is the top post this week with 39 views (plus 8 views today, so far) and TWOB is the 2nd with 13 views (plus 6 today, so far). The searches are usually through the movie titles, or sometimes for specific actresses. Tamie Hannum seems to get the most individual searches.

      I hope you do a part 3 someday, so I can review that next.

      Like

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