I’m sitting here drinking orange juice and about to get ready for work, and it reminded me of and old experience that I once blogged about on Myspace several years ago, and I thought I’d rewrite it now, because I don’t have anything else to post about. It’s embarrassing but, hey, that’s a sacrifice that I’m willing to make for the sake of my blog.
This was back when I was around 18, I still living at home with my mother and my grandmother. This was a 2-bedroom, 1 bathroom home. I had the room in the back, my mother had the room in the front, and my grandmother slept on the fold-out sofa bed in the living room, which was next to the bathroom. So one night I woke up early in the morning/late at night, I don’t remember exactly what time, but I just had to use the bathroom. I was tired, I usually just slept in my underwear, and so if I wanted to use the bathroom I’d have to put some clothes on and go up to the front of the house quietly, in order to not wake up my grandmother.
I didn’t feel like doing all that. And I had an empty bottle of orange juice in my bedroom. So, what the heck, I figured I’d just piss in the bottle, then go back to sleep. And I’d just empty the bottle out in a few hours when I woke up again. So that’s what I did. Well, the thing is, I also had a full bottle of orange juice in my bedroom, to drink when I got thirsty.
You all see where this is going, don’t you?
So when I woke up again a few hours later, I was still groggy, barely remembered even getting up earlier, I grabbed the bottle of orange juice and took a big gulp…and then immediately spit it out. I’d grabbed the bottle with piss in it, by mistake!
I remember just standing there, bent over at the waist, with my mouth open as wide as possible, and my tongue sticking out, just trying to let it all drip out and not swallow any of it. I don’t know how long I stood there like that, but it was probably a good 10 minutes, at least (& then I spent half an hour brushing my teeth). I still remember that warm salty taste in my mouth. Yuck.
Definitely not one of my finer moments.