I had a great dream last night. And it sucks. Because I have great dreams all the time. Some people don’t realize how disturbing that can be. Think about when
you have a nightmare, & you wake up in a cold sweat with your heart beating fast, & you’re all scared. Well the alternative isn’t much better.

See, my dreams are so good, that I don’t want to wake up. When I do wake up, instead of being relieved, I’m upset. And I’m not just talking about the impossible fantasty-type dreams, although I do have plenty of those. Like I’m a superhero, flying around the world, loved by everyone. Or I’m Emperor Of The World, & I’ve created Universal Peace. Or I’m a Sultan with my own private Harem.

But I’ll also have the kind of dreams where I’ve somehow gotten enough money so that ALL of my depts are paid off, & I can buy a new car & big screen TV. Or I find out that they’re bringing back the TV show “Dallas,” with Larry Hagman returning as J.R. Ewing (I loved that show, that’s how I got my name). And I’m really excited…and then I wake up.

And it’s like “F**K! It was just a dream!!!

So then my real life seem so much worse, in comparison to my dreams, & I spend the rest of my day remembering that dream & wishing that it was real. It’s times like this that I hate having such a vivid imagination.

I can’t even remember the last time I had a nightmare. But that’s what I want. Let me dream about being buried alive in a coffin filled with cobras by a bunch of
zombie clowns. So I can wake up scared, and happy that it’s over. It would be a nice change of pace.