C’mon, we’ve all been there, right? You said the wrong thing. Or maybe you said the right thing, but you said it @ the wrong time or to the wrong person. I seem to have a bit of a habit of doing this. One of the problems is that I have what could be described as a sarcastic sense of humor, as well as a slightly morbid view of life, in general. And I’m not easily offended by other people’s comments. So I tend to sometimes forget that other people may not share my outlook on things, and I end up inadvertently offending them, when I honestly don’t mean to.

Recently, on one message board that occasionally post on, someone started a thread about a incident where he put his foot mouth, and felt bad about it, and was asking others to share their stories of similar incidents. So I thought I’d do the same here.

The worst incident that I can think of was several years ago when I was a founding member, and early moderator, of a particular message board. @ the time, I was personally responsible for bringing more members to the board than anyone else, by inviting many other online friends from other message boards that I frequented back then, spreading the word of our new board. And we had a special thread set up for new members to introduce themselves after they had first signed up, and the rest of us who welcome them to the forum.

Well, one day a new member joined, and I posted some comment like “Welcome aboard! Glad to have you here!” And then, for no reason whatsoever, I added “This board is growing! Like a cancerous tumor!”

What can I say? It sounded funny to me, @ the time.

Well, not too long after that, I get a private message from one of the other moderators of the board. The subject line was “Very Bad Analogy.”
I clicked on it, and she told me that this new member was someone that she had invited from another board, where he had revealed months earlier that HE HAS CANCER.


I remember just sitting there, staring @ the computer screen for several minutes, letting this sink in. I felt like the lowest lifeform on the planet, wondering what the frak was I thinking when I wrote that?!? I then sent a groveling private message to that member, apologizing for my stupidity. He was extremely gracious about, saying that he took no offense, though I still felt like a world class idiot.

I no longer post on that message board, but the last I heard, that guy had died a few years later.

So…can anybody beat that?


  1. Frank Booker
    March 8, 2010 at 4:53 AM

    Nah, homie, I think you’re winner in this one.


  2. March 8, 2010 at 5:15 AM

    Damn. You fucked up.


  3. March 8, 2010 at 6:11 AM

    I once told a dead baby joke to a group of girls, forgetting that one of them was trying to get pregnant at the time. She later wrote me a long email telling me how insensitive I was. OOPS. 😦


    • March 8, 2010 at 2:53 PM

      What has the world come to, when you can’t even tell a good “dead baby joke” anymore?


  4. March 8, 2010 at 8:42 AM

    Once I asked a woman when her baby was due, and she replied I’m not pregnant obviously just fat oops!


  5. OMAR
    March 8, 2010 at 12:07 PM

    I’ve learned Never, even if you’ve seen the ultrasound pics, Never ever, ever ask “Are you pregnant?”

    My ears are still ringing. LOL


    • March 8, 2010 at 2:53 PM

      Agreed, if you have to ASK a woman if she’s pregnant, then DON’T.


  6. March 8, 2010 at 3:47 PM

    Speaking of pregnancy……I told my niece in front of her boyfriend, nice girls don’t get knocked up by trolls! Guess who told me she was pregnant a week later….to her boyfriend who I called troll!….Guess I jinxed us all! :{


  7. March 8, 2010 at 6:09 PM

    I was walking by an art gallery and I looked in to see what rubbish it was. Another guy was looking in and I turned to him and said,”Modern art is such a load of stupid, self-indulgent, talentless crap. Don’t you think?” Turned out he was the artist on exhibition.


  8. March 8, 2010 at 8:34 PM

    I recall one time back in high school, I had met some new girl and started to become friends with her. One day while leaving I saw some man coming onto campus, who looked extremely gay. Being the stupid teenager that I was at the time, I made some ignorant comment like “Look at that big homo.” Of course, it turned out that was my friend’s father.
    She never spoke to me after that.


  9. March 8, 2010 at 10:34 PM

    I was in this shop once just about to buy something but had last minute doubts, so instead of holding everyone up because there was a lot waiting I said to the woman behind the counter…’You can serve this gentleman before me if you like’…then almost immediately there was this rather disgusted voice from a WOMAN….I’m no gentleman….Oh she was rather ugly and had a better stubble on her face than me.


  10. March 12, 2010 at 9:00 PM

    I once told a coworker that his daughter, who’s picture he had on his desk, was pretty. Turned out that was his wife. But, I figure, that’s what you get when you marry a woman who’s 20 years younger than you are.


  11. March 21, 2010 at 2:54 PM

    Wow. Still trying to find a story myself to share. lol


  12. April 25, 2010 at 8:10 PM

    Similar to the first story, I have a message board that I post on and have for years. Well, I pissed a few people off.

    See, my wife agreed to take a “short survey” over the phone. She was on there for around 30 minutes if I recall. She kept saying that she hated to just hang up, b/c she was so close to finishing it. I don’t even remember what it was she got for her time. Anyway, by the time it was over we were both physically exhausted from being so upset with the “shortness” of the survey. I was telling about this on the message board, and I titled the thread “My Wife Got Raped By A Telemarketer.”

    Honestly, I would think that would be evident satire. It was even the way my wife herself said she felt afterward. And of course, everyone was saying how insensitive I was. I didn’t know what it was like. “My cousin’s father’s boss was raped.” Etc.

    I seriously don’t have firsthand knowledge, but I do have several friends who have been raped themselves. I would never belittle or poke fun at that act against them or anyone whose been through it.

    That said, I’ve never been jumped on for saying “Man, this job is murder.” Or, “Talking to him like that would be suicide.” Or . . . well, you get it.

    Still, I did feel bad for offending people I’d known for a few years.

    – Ray


    • April 25, 2010 at 9:33 PM

      Strange, your post got sent to my spam folder, probably because you had “telemarketer” in it, so I had to approve it. I hate when that happens.

      Anyway, your example, sounds more like a typical case of “internet outrage” that typically happens on many message boards (including the CBR YABS forum, in case that’s the forum you’re talking about), where people seem to WANT to be offended by something, no matter how innocent it was. That’s happened to me there before. I wouldn’t worry about that one.


      • April 27, 2010 at 7:46 AM

        Well, I do love me some spam.

        As for netrage, yeah it was. But, I really hadn’t intended to hurt anyone’s feelings, even inadvertantly.

        Also, I had no idea you were from CBR. At first, I felt bad for not realizing it. Then, it dawned on me: it’s not me, it’s you. Where’s your cool handle, like Azrael52?

        – Ray


      • April 27, 2010 at 6:56 PM

        Dang. You went to my spam folder again. That’s so annoying. I would have thought that by clicking on “not spam” on your last comment, that would automatically approve any other comments from you. Oh well.

        I never bothered with screen names on any boards that I posted on. I always want folks to know who I am.


  13. May 22, 2010 at 5:10 PM

    LMAO at some of these!
    On the phone with a rather irate client, I asked her for her name so I could call her back. She said her name was Bobbie. I asked her…
    “Is that spelled B-O-O-B-I-E or B-O-O-B-Y?”
    “My name’s ‘Bobbie’ not ‘BOOBIE’ you idiot!”
    “Oh fuck.”


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