It’s Over! Kim Kardashian Files for Divorce From Kris Humphries: “I Have Decided to End My Marriage”

Sheesh, I can’t stand that entire family. They’re all just one big publicity stunt, and Kris Humphries was merely a prop to get ratings. He should consider himself lucky he’s getting away from that wacko broad now, before he knocked her up.

Herman Cain Addresses Sexual Harassment Settlement

Looks like the Cain Train is about to get derailed. Although, honestly, even though I was never really impressed with the Godfather of Pizza, I am a bit uncomfortable with the way this is being played out. “Anonymous sources” have leaked the story, but they won’t name the alleged victims, even though his name gets driven through the mud. It just seems unfair. But he’s been handling this very badly, so far. Eh, regardless of the polls, I never believed he’d get the nomination anyway. If the GOP doesn’t want to lose this opportunity, they’d better just suck it up and rally behind Mitt Romney as quickly as possible. Yeah, I know, the Mormon faith is a little goofy, but so what? Judge him by his record, not his religious beliefs.

Steve Jobs’ Last Words Revealed In Sister Mona Simpson’s Eulogy

So his last words were “Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.” The reminds me of the story that King Henry VIII’s last words were: “Monks! Monks! Monks!” If I’m conscious of dying (as opposed to just dying peaceful in my sleep), I hope I’ll have the state of mind to come up with something unbelievable bad-ass to say for my last words. Or maybe something totally random and mysterious, so that anyone who hears them will spend years trying to figure out what the heck I was saying. Like in Citizen Kane: “Rosebud” (Spoiler alert: that was the name of his childhood sled)

As I mentioned yesterday, I watched the latest episode of Two And A Half Men, and I’m officially done. That show is wack, now. But I am liking 2 Broke Girls. Kate Dennings is hot.

And, last but not least, I really really really can’t wait until this movie comes out: