By Daniel Gates
Nick Loeb has filed a lawsuit to stop his former fiancee, Sofia Vergara, from destroying two female embryos created through in vitro fertilization six months before the couple split. The embryos, using Loeb’s sperm and Vergara’s eggs, were created in 2013. The on-and-off pair broke up for good in 2014.
According to court documents obtained by In Touch, Loeb sued Vergara last August to “ensure that the female embryos” are kept safe, because Vergara “refuses to agree to their preservation under all circumstances.” The filing also makes allegations that Vergara was “physically and mentally abusive” to Loeb. He specifically claims that Vergara punched him in the face more than once, threw her phone at his head, and verbally attacked him on multiple occasions.
The court papers reveal that Loeb and Vergara tried twice, unsuccessfully, to implant an embryo in a surrogate. There are two cryopreserved female embryos at the center of the lawsuit, which notes that Vergara “hoped [would] ultimately be destroyed,” while Loeb wants them saved. The fertility center used by the then-couple reportedly had Loeb and Vergara fill out forms about what would happen to the embryos in the event of death, but not in the event of their separation. Gossip Cop will have updates.
Good grief, what a mess this is. I’ll ignore the allegations of physical abuse here, because that’s hearsay at the moment (and, I suspect, thrown in by him in an effort to force her to settle with him because, as a celebrity, she’ll want to avoid the bad publicity), but about these embryos, I’m not sure what to think. This seems like one of those situations where, perhaps, our technology has advanced faster than our society has. And so now we’re capable of doing things without thinking through all of the implications first.
It says right there in the article, Loeb and Vergara made plans for the embryos in the event of their deaths, but not if they broke up. Of course, because back then they were blissfully in love and, like most couples in that position, never thought they’d break up. So what now? It says Loeb wants the embryos preserved, for what? Loeb is a Republican, he’s probably Pro-Life, and therefor views these embryos as “children” that deserve to live. But does that mean just keep them as embryos or does he want “custody” and the right to have them implanted into a new surrogate and then born? And what of Sofia’s wishes? So she’ll now have one or two biological children with this man, that she’s no longer with, and doesn’t want? See what I mean about what a mess this is?
I have to say, at the risk of being controversial again, I’ve never been all that comfortable with the idea of surrogate motherhood in the first place. The whole idea of taking sperm from a man and an egg from a woman and then implanting that into another woman who will then get pregnant and give birth to a child that she is not biologically related to her..it sound kinda gross to me. It’s using a human being as a living incubator. Is that really something we, as a society, should be encouraging? And why?
You know, I’ve pointed out before how people often accuse people like me, who don’t want children, of being selfish. And I agree! We are selfish! But, frankly, a lot of folks who want children are selfish too. Their reasons for wanting not a child, but a biological child, are selfish. If you’re a couple and are physically unable to have a child the natural way, maybe that’s just the way it’s meant to be? Why not adopt? There are plenty of children out there, who already need loving parents, so take one of them in, instead of going through such an extraordinary method of childbirth like using a surrogate just so you can have a child that is biologically yours. But no, people like this don’t just want a child, they want a child that looks like them, or connects them to their spouse, or however they put it. That’s a selfish way of thinking, too.
Just looking at Sofia and Nick, he’s going to be 40 this year, she’ll be 43. I could question why they were even planning this in the first. That’s kind of old to be starting a family. Yeah, I said it. OLD. If they had stayed together, got married, and went through all this, they’d be pushing 60 by the time the kid(s) graduated High School. Is that fair to the kid, to have old parents as they’re growing up? Sofia already has a grown son. At this stage in her life, why not just be happy with that, look forward to him giving her grandchildren some day? Nick never had children before. Oh well, so be it. Maybe not everyone is meant to procreate? The two of them trying to start a family now was a selfish act.
Maybe people in similar circumstances should just accept that they’re not meant to have biological children at this point in their lives, and instead of trying something like surrogacy, either adopt, or just live without children?
Just my opinion.