PREVIOUSLY: Toxic Masculinity Example #4,080

SIGH

Here we go again.

This is an old post I’ve had sitting in my draft folder for awhile. I don’t know why I hadn’t posted it much sooner. At this point I don’t even remember where I came across these images, which I wish I did. I’m posting now because it’s still an important story.

A woman posted this text exchange on Reddit. She was anonymous, but the background info she gave is that she’s a college student, and said that she didn’t recall ever speaking to this man in class, and therefore didn’t know his name or who he was when he texted her. And this is how the text conversation went:

Again, crap like this not only disgusts but baffles me. The mentality of the men and boys (mentally, they’re all boys) who react this way is astounding.

First, and this is something I find myself telling guys a lot on Reddit, if you want to ask a woman out, do it in person. At least in a situation like this, where you see her every day, so it’s not like you don’t have the opportunity to do so. Getting someone else to give you her number so you can then text her instead of talking in person is just lame and cowardly.

And it’s even worse in this case because they’ve never spoken in person. It’s not like they’re friends or even casual acquaintances so there’s some familiarity. No, he just randomly asks her out. And then gets mad when she doesn’t respond the way he wants her to. This is not the way to do it, fellas.

It’s almost funny when he says I’m just trying to be a nice person, you looked lonely. Like oh, gee, he was doing her a favor, like she was some kind of charity case. What woman wouldn’t be flattered by that. But then of course there are predictable insults, dirty little bitch, your pussy stinks, etc. And “females just want…”

I remember a few years ago when I first started reading about women objecting to men who refer to them as “females” and, at first, I thought it was just another overly PC overreaction (undoubtably started by Millenials, who are always offended by something). But, you know what? I get it now. Once I started paying attention to the type of men who use that word and why, it definitely became apparent that there was a pattern to it. Even among women who use it, it’s rarely done when referring to women in a positive way. It’s almost always negative.

And reading of interactions like this reinforce why I’m sympathetic to women who “ghost” men, or just don’t respond, and less sympathetic to men, even the real nice guys who have to experience that. It may not be “fair” to them, but I understand it. How is a woman supposed to know that some new guy isn’t going to react like the one above, or worse? I mean, what is she had said, sure, let’s go to lunch? She wouldn’t have seen this side of him, at that point, but it’s there. And who knows what will eventually set him off?

I do wish I could backtrack the original post this was from. I hope the woman in this situation is okay, as she still had to see him in class after that.

For some light reading: Women Share Terrifying Responses Received From Men After Rejecting Their Advances