I’ve gotten into my share of arguments over the years with certain women who make the claim that we should automatically believe every woman who accuses any man of rape because “Women Never Lie About Rape”.
So as I would with most cases, at the moment I reserve judgment on Nelly. I don’t know what happened, I wasn’t there and I haven’t read that much of what has been revealed yet. So, for now, it’s wait and see.
However, as I look around my FB feed, and see this being discussed, I’m noticing a common defense being raised over and again, and all from other women (specifically, Black women):
“He doesn’t HAVE/NEED to rape anybody!”
On the one hand, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that this attitude still exists, considering I’m living in an era where openly bragging about how you’ve just randomly grabbed several women by the vagina and gotten away with it because you’re a “star” is, strangely, NOT enough to disqualify you from becoming Leader of The Free world (apparently we hold Presidents of movie studios to higher personal standards than Presidents of America), but still. This notion that because a man happens to be rich/famous/handsome enough to attract women who will willingly have sex with him, therefor he’s unlikely to be guilty of rape, really needs to STOP.
This presumes that rape is about SEX. That men who rape women do so because they’re just unable to attract women normally, or because they’re just, I guess, really really really really horny at that moment, and simply MUST have sex. This is the mentality that leads to rape victims being blamed for their own attack because of how they were dressed at the time. Women literally covered from head to toe in full burkas have been raped. That alone should destroy any questioning of a woman’s outfit.
Heck, wrinkled old women in nursing homes have been raped. Again, this isn’t a crime that occurs because of a woman’s sex appeal.
Rape is not about sex. It’s about POWER. It’s about the desire to impose ones will against another person. That’s what the perpetrator is getting off on.
Men who do this are not just too ugly, or really horny, they’re evil bastards who want to take what they want. A man being “successful” with women doesn’t disqualify him from being a rapist.
If anything, it could be argued that men like that become more likely to rape as they get so used women always saying yes to them, that when a woman happens to say no, they simply refuse to accept it. Like who does this bitch think SHE is to turn ME down?!? and so they just go ahead and force her to do it (and assume they’ll get away with it because they’re a celebrity).
I’m not saying you should argue that, but you could.
Look at Bill Cosby (and lets not forget that it took over two dozen women to come forward before most people even started to accept that he was guilty, that’s pretty messed up itself), for 30 years he was one of the richest and most famous men in the country, I’m sure he could have had a string of consensual affairs. Hell, let’s be real, I’m sure many of the women he did rape would have had sex with him WILLINGLY if he’d approached them. But, clearly, it wasn’t just the sex that he was after. He had a pathological desire to take these women when they COULDN’T resist. When they were unconscious and helpless, completely at his mercy, that’s what he wanted, the twisted old bastard.
Anyway, as I said, I’m not saying that Nelly is guilty. I don’t know enough about the accusations to make a judgment call yet. I’m just saying that the fact that he’s a famous rapper whom many women want to have sex with does not mean he couldn’t have done this.
So please, drop the “he doesn’t need to-“ defense, and call out friends of yours when you hear them use it. It’s stupid.