Well, he’s here! His Royal Highness Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge, who, if all goes according to plan, will someday be crowned King George VII of England.

I was talking to a coworker about this yesterday, how I just don’t envy this kid. I wouldn’t want to switch places with him when I imagine the kind of life he will live.

Sure, on the one hand, there are the material benefits. He will never have to struggle for or worry about money. As I sit here budgeting my dollars to pay off debts and loans, I think of how nice it would be to not have to think about things like that. Whenever he gets sick or injured he’ll have easy access to the best doctors in the country, which is another burden that he’ll never have to worry about. But the trade-off isn’t worth it.

As I mentioned when I wrote about the marriage of his parents, the royal life is a life lived in a fishbowl. He will never have a moment of privacy, his every action will be recorded and talked about. Especially as the firstborn, he’ll be expected to live a certain way and behave a certain way all the time. If he just wants to hang out on a Saturday afternoon with his friends, go to a movie or whatever, he’ll have to be aware of every action, because it will turn up on TV and the internet. Don’t ever get caught picking your nose, cuz that’ll be headline news. Or just getting a little crazy, like most young folks do occasionally, that’s also the news.

Speaking of friends, think of how tough it will be to make REAL friends when you always have to worry if these people like you for yourself or because you’re a prince. Same thing when it comes to romantic relationships, that will be really difficult. Especially when he’s an adult and ready to get married, he won’t be able to marry just any woman; he’ll have to think about whether she’d make a suitable future Queen because, as we’ve seen with Kate, everything about her and her family will be scrutinized.

His general life will also be planned out. He will have to join the military, like his father, uncle, and grandfather, whether he wants to or not. That’s just expected of him. And that sucks. And what if he just wants some kind of normal career? What if he wants to be a comic-book artist or a stand-up comedian? He can’t. It’s not possible. He has to be a Royal and perform Royal duties. I just would not want that kind of life, living in a proverbial fishbowl.

I mean, the only way I’d even consider it worth it would be if you actually got real Royal power. If I knew I could be a King who ruled the country, that my word was law, what I say goes, then that MIGHT be worth it. But they’re just ceremonial figureheads. Heck, they’re not even allowed to speak out on political issues; they’re expected to remain politically neutral. So what good is that? I wouldn’t want it.

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