Online Friends vs. Real Friends


As I come upon my 7th year on Facebook (signed up in August 2007), & 12th year online overall (I got my first PC in 2002) I’m reflecting on the concept of online friendships. A lot of people used to say, and still do, that all of these connections people make online are stupid, pointless, superficial, these aren’t “real friends,” etc. But I’ve come to realize a long time ago that it isn’t that simple. Social networking is interesting in that it has enabled me to communicate with people from all across this country and the world, men and women from all walks of life, many of whom I never would have had the chance to meet in real life before. In a way I feel that the internet has broken down the various superficial barriers we construct amongst ourselves, so we can be more open, and learn more about the world.

And the thing is that I do have many people that I know just from online interaction, whom I’ve never met in real life, and yet they do feel like real friends to me now. I think it’s because via the internet people share so much, and you see it, and that’s how you get to know them. Some say that’s superficial, “liking” someone’s pictures or posts doesn’t really mean anything, but I beg to differ. After awhile it does have a cumulative effect. I now have people that I’ve “known” for over a decade through the internet, some starting from various message boards that I used to post on, to sites like Myspace and then Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr (even a few from Google+) and even here through this blog. You get snapshots of people’s lives, and you sort of vicariously experience major life events with them. There are people who were in high school when I first “met” them, who are adults now. I’ve seen folks graduate from high school, from college, move out of their parents houses and live on their own for the first time. I’ve seen marriages, divorces, childbirths, babies growing into toddlers and kids growing into teenagers, people getting jobs, losing jobs, facing diseases and illnesses, going through the death of parents, grandparents, siblings, and many many many relationships that have started and ended.


This is especially true of my female friends because, let’s face it, woman tend to share a lot more. When things are going good, bad, or otherwise, there’s always a ton of pictures and status updates to go along with it, from my female friends. I have several friends who literally announce the beginning or the state of their menstrual cycles on their pages. Women love to share.


Just in the past couple of weeks, I’ve seen a friend get married, another get engaged, a married couple had their first baby, and another couple moving into a new house, dealing with all the hassles of upgrading it. And I feel like I’m there, every step of the way. I know more about the private lives of some people I’ve never met than I do about most of my coworkers. And I have actually met several online friends in real life over the years, including spending 4 days in Alabama last year with some of my friends from FB, and that was a great time. So I absolutely think it’s possible for online friends to be “real” friends. Even the ones I haven’t actually met. And I think that’s a good thing.

Of course, I suppose it is a problem if your online activities take over your whole life. If you don’t have any friends you actually see in real life and you just spend all of your time talking to people on the internet then that’s probably not a good thing. You should go socialize in real life once and awhile. But in the meantime I’m still happy with all of the online friendships I’ve made.



  1. I agree with you. I made online friends from all over the world. And some of them I’m going to meet up with later this year. It’s nice to learn about other cultures. And I just love when people dare to share 🙂
    The only thing I don’t like with FB and other sites, are that some people tend to become lazy. And even doe they live in the same town. They rather send a pm, than meet up in irl.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ll admit, I’m probably one of those lazy folks. Sometimes it is easier to just keep in touch via the internet than actually make plans to hang out in person.


  2. Great post! I always find it upsetting when people think my online friends aren’t real friends. I’ve made several online friends over the years, and some of us have traveled to visit each other. I met my best friend about four years ago in an online gaming community. We met at a time when we both needed a good friend. We helped each other through hard times and became fast friends. She is one of the most supportive people in my life, and we talk almost everyday. We’ve never actually met in person, but someday I hope I have the money to travel to California to hang out.


  3. […] I’ve been to New York once, for a week, when I was a teenager, to visit relatives. I’ve been to Las Vegas twice, once for one day and once for two days, both to attend friend’s weddings. And I’ve been to Alabama twice, once for 4 days and once for two and half days, to visit with some friends that I made years ago on Facebook (see, online friends can become “real friends”). […]


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