Last night I went to check on a friend’s Facebook page and discovered that we are no longer friends. I did not unfriend her, so that means that she unfriended me. This isn’t the first time that this has happened, people have suddenly unfriended me, and I’ve unfriended many people. Except usually I don’t just unfriend people, I block them. And I love Facebook’s block function, it’s like the person becomes completely invisible, you can no longer see their profile (nor they yours) or any activity of theirs, so even if you have mutual friends and you both comment on their page, you won’t see their comments. My reasons are usually because I’ve seen the person saying things that I find hateful or just extremely stupid, and I have no tolerance for hatred or stupidity. But all of the other times that I’ve noticed that I’ve been unfriended it was by someone that I only knew from online. And I’ve noticed that sometimes people have this thing where, for whatever reason, they’ve decided that they only want to remain friends on Facebook with people that they know in real life, so that’s why I get cut. At least that’s what I usually assume, and I don’t care. I’m just like, whatever.
But this is different because this is the first that I’ve been unfriended by someone that I actually know in real life. This is a woman whom, for the sake of this blog, I’ll refer to as “Diana,” because that’s her actual name.
Diana and I worked together from 2001-2005. During that time we got along great, I liked her. She was the definition of a “cool chick.” We partied at mutual friends houses a few times outside of work. Since she left the job we hadn’t actually seen each other, although we’ve kept in touch via the internet, first on Myspace and then eventually on Facebook. At this point our friendship had evolved into a typical online friendship, random comments and messages here and there, “liking” each other’s photos and whatnot. Some could say that’s superficial but I still considered her a real friend.
And, as I wrote about in my post Online Friends vs. Real Friends, she’s someone I’ve seen go through major life events. She was just a 20-year old girl living with her parents when we started working together, we celebrated her 21st birthday (and her first “legal” drink) at the job. In the years since I’ve seen her, via FB, move out on her own for the first time, go through the death of her father, meet and move in with a new guy whom she had a baby with (and I sent her a $50 Target gift card for the baby), and then they got married last year. So even if we weren’t physically in touch, our friendship still felt “real”. So that’s why I surprised last night when I looked her up to see how she was doing (because y’know Facebook doesn’t always show updates from all your friends, sometimes you have to directly look them up) only to see the “add friend” button on her profile. And I really wish I could be blasé about it and say that I don’t care, because I know it hurts my bad-ass reputation to admit this, but I do care. This actually bothers me. I don’t know why, but it does. I feel like I’ve been personally rejected as a friend. I honestly have no idea what I could have done to provoke this. I mean, I see that we still have 6 mutual friends who are all also ex-co-workers. People I know she’s not hanging out with in real life anymore either, so why the heck did I get dropped, but not them?!?
Well, I’m not going to contact to her to ask what’s up, she must have had her reasons. But still, this sucks.