J.R. LeMar

WHY I DON’T “FORGIVE” CHRIS BROWN

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Last month, Ebony magazine published a pair of articles on the topic “Should We Forgive Chris Brown?”, with a male writer writing a “yes” article, and woman writer writing a “no” article. Well, I say NO, and here’s why:

First, let me say that I do believe in rehabilitation. He is a young guy, he was 19 when this happened. Not saying that excuses him, but it makes me think that there’s still time for him to get help, and become a better man, and learn to control himself. So it’s not a case of me just writing him off already, and saying he should spend the rest of his life as a societal pariah, and never be able to earn a living as an entertainer again.

But the key here is, he has to want to get better. And show true genuine remorse for his actions. Obviously, I don’t know the man, or what’s really in his heart, but just judging by his public persona, I’m not seeing the reaction from him that would make me think he really accepts the gravity of his actions.

Two particular incidents stand out to me. First, soon after his plea bargain went through, he gave an interview on Larry King Live. He was asked about Oprah Winfrey, who had done a show about the incident, and warned Rhianna not to take him back. And Brown’s response was to say:

“I commend Oprah on being like, ‘This is a problem,’ but it was a slap in my face. I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could’ve been more helpful, like, ‘Okay, I’m going to help both of these people out.’“

Bloody Hell?!? He’s complaining that Oprah didn’t reach out to him, too? Hey, you’re the bad guy here! You don’t get to dictate how people should react to you after you do something horrible!

And look at the choice of words he used. A slap in my face. That’s better than the very real slap in the face you gave to Rhianna, jackass. This would be like Mel Gibson complaining that Danny Glover hasn’t come out to defend him, after Gibson got caught using the N-word on the phone. No one has an obligation to stick up for you, Chris.

Also look at the way he characterized the situation, where he says Oprah should have tried to help both of these people, as if he’s saying that somehow he and Rhianna were equally to blame for what happened.

Now, I will agree that Rhianna also needs help. Considering the severity of the beating, I think it is highly unlikely that it was the first time that Chris ever hit her. So just like he needs help in order to stop being abusive, she needs help so that she won’t get involved with, and stay with, an abusive man in the future. But that doesn’t mean that he should get the same level of compassion that she does.

And, in any case, he’s supposed to begging the public for forgiveness, and apologizing. Not complaining about Oprah. And the fact that his mother was sitting right there next to him, makes it worse, in my opinion. Really, she’s co-signing that shit?

Then, later on the year, he releases a new album, and then he rants on twitter about stores allegedly not stocking it (the typos are all his):

“the didnt even have my album in the back… not on shelves, saw for myself im tired of this s—. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the f— do i gotta do. im not biting my tongue about sh- else… the industry can kiss my ass. WTF… yeah i said it and i aint retracting s-“.

There’s so much wrong with this, I don’t even know where to begin. Look at the one comment “what the f- do i gotta do” This just doesn’t sound to me like he really accepts responsibility for his actions. He’s acting like “Hey, I said I was sorry. Can’t we just forget about everything now?”

He should be grateful that his label didn’t drop him, and that anyone is still playing his records. Instead of whining like a spoiled little brat, he should be thanking his lucky stars that he even still has a chance at a career.

Keep in mind, this little thug didn’t even get any jail time. Just community service. He got off easy! He shouldn’t have anything to complain about!

And why the frak did he even release a new album so soon anyway? If I were his manager, I would have had him take at least a year off. Stay out of the public eye, except maybe to do some charity work. Maybe have him enroll in college to get some kind of degree, while he’s on hiatus. Slowly try to rebuild his image in the public eye. But, nope, he just went right back to being a regular celebrity again.

And that’s my real problem here. He’s not even pretending to be acting remorseful. At least fake some sincerity. Be humble. Instead, he’s making new music, recording videos, making movies, and chillin’ with other celebrities, without a care in the world.

It’s all good!

So that’s why I don’t forgive him.

The thing is, I was never a fan of his to begin with, never bought any of his music before, so it’s not like I can really “boycott” him now. So, ultimately, my opinion is completely irrelevant to his life. And, y’know, I hope I am just misreading this. I hope that deep down, inside, he really feels sorry and has gotten some help for his problems. Because I don’t want him to do this to someone else in the future. Because next time someone could end up dead.

22 comments

  5. THANK YOU! i’m glad to see someone calling out this douchebag for what he did. i’m sick of seeing people making excuses for him, saying oh he just made a mistake, let’s forgive. that wasn’t a mistake. locking your keys in your car is a mistake. beating the shit out of a woman is a crime. what i really hate is the number or WOMEN that i see who make excuses for him. some even blame rhianna for it. it’s sickening.

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    • I have also been surprised @ the number of women, especially young women, that I’ve seen who are adamant in their defense of Chris Brown, and sometimes hostile towards Rhianna. I was just discussing this in someone else’s blog a couple of weeks ago, about rape. There’s a theory I heard about once (on an old episode of Law & Order) that said that, contrary to popular belief, female jurors are often harsher on female victims in court cases. The theory posits that it’s almost a subconscious defense mechanism. When women hear about rape or assault against a woman, they attempt to mentally separate themselves from the victim in order to feel safe. So they scrutinize the woman’s actions, to put the blame on her. “I would never have worn that outfit/gone to that club/went to that man’s apartment/etc., like she did. So that will never happen to ME.” It’s a shame, but I can see the logic in that. And, like I’ve said, I’ve seen women make those types of arguments against Rhianna, saying “she started it,” or “she should have left,” making it seem as if it’s her fault.

      And I will admit to being disappointed in Rhianna for not pressing charges against him. I don’t think he should have been able to plea bargain it down to community service. I agree with “Kill All Lawyers” up there, he definitely should have gotten at least three years of jail time.

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  6. Good article. On the one hand, you’re right. He probably shouldn’t be blackballed forever, it’s not like he’s the only celebrity with a violent past. Hell, Eminem and Dr. Dre have both been charged with violence against women. And so have many other rappers, singers, and rock stars. But at least show some remorse. Remember when right after this happened, he was photographed out somewhere riding a jetski in the ocean? What the fuck dude? And then after his plea bargain you see him partying at clubs with hot chicks, and hanging with P-Diddy. He’s got some bad PR folks working for him.

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  10. My Father was an abuser, and my Mother put up with it for 45 years…why, I will never understand. Her usual explanation was she felt sorry for him…I think alot of women fall into that trap…realize the man is sick, and want to play a savior role, when in reality, the only ones they need to save are themselves from either psycological or physical ruin, or, as some find, death.

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  11. Chris Brown is among the lowest of the lowest bottom-feeding idiots on the planet. Guys who hit girls don’t deserve their freedom, let alone any level of success in life.

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  12. He’s a worthless little punk. But she’s dumb for sticking with him so long. I know that wasn’t the first time he ever hit her. Abusers usually start off with small forms of violence, before they escalate to huge beatings like that.

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