I have pondered this and discussed it with other before, most recently about a week ago when someone posted a link to this blog post on Reddit: How To Date A Pornstar? I didn’t even read it before answering (so I was unaware that it was just a thinly-veiled ad for a London-based Escort agency), but for me the answer is: NO.
Let’s be clear. I’m no sexual prude. Nor, at my age, am I expecting or even wanting to date or marry a virgin. I’m pretty liberal, actually rather Far-Left, when it comes to people’s personal lives, especially their sex lives. This is why I was always rabidly in support of LGBT rights. Who people sleep with is their business. And there’s also the fact that, well, to perfectly honest, I have watched an awful lot of porn in my lifetime. Beginning when, let’s just say I was far too young to be watching it. Not to mention the fact that I once worked in a porn shop. So who am I to judge?
But, to me, the only reason to get into a relationship, especially a marriage, is for monogamy. If you’re not going to be monogamous, then I don’t see the point. Just stay single. As long-time readers of my blog know, because I’ve said it many, many, many times, I don’t want to have children. I’m also pretty much a homebody who is fine spending time by myself. So I don’t need to get married for the sake of raising a family together, nor for just companionship. So if the other person is going to be with other people, then we don’t need to be in any sort of official commitment. Again, I just personally don’t see the point.
For the record, I’m not knocking the lives of others who live different. Like I said, people’s sex lives are their business. I have one (Facebook) friend that I know of who is bisexual woman married to a heterosexual man. And occasionally they have threesomes with other women. But only threesomes, neither one is “allowed” to have sex with another woman one-on-one (that would be cheating). Hey, not my bag, but if it works for them, so be it. But not me. I wouldn’t want my wife (or girlfriend) having sex with other people, women or men. Yes, I know porn stars say that it is just a “job.” But, still, I can’t imagine being cool with this, on a daily basis. I can just imagine an average weekday evening, as I come home from work…
ME: Honey, I’m home!
HER: How was your day today?
ME: Very busy. And (my coworker) Carlos called in sick today, so I had to work through my breaks to get everything done myself. How was your day?
HER: Pretty good. I shot a DP anal threeway with Lexington Steele and Mr. Marcus.
ME: Cool, so what’s for dinner?
Nah, I just couldn’t do it.
Now, an ex-pornstar? Someone who used to do it, but as since retired and has a “regular” job? Yes, I think I could do that. I always say, let the past stay the past, when it comes to our sex lives. Like I said, I wouldn’t expect (or want) to marry a virgin anyway. And, y’know, in a way, a woman whose sexual history consists mainly of working in porn is almost better than one who didn’t. At least I know that most of the men (and women) that she had sex with it was “just a job”, and porn stars have pretty regular testing for SDI’s, unlike everyone else (FYI according to the World Health Organization, if you’re reading this, you probably have some form of herpes). So that by itself wouldn’t necessarily be a deal-breaker for me.
What about YOU?
Reblogged this on The Militant Negro™.
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Would depend on the porn star, her work ethics and her salary.
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“Work ethics” is a good way to phrase it. Flat salaries for porn aren’t all that high anymore, from what I hear, due to the prevalence of online piracy. So the porn stars who are making good money these days are the ones who really know how to hustle. The ones who have their own websites, who film and sell custom clips, and merchandise. Who do feature dancing at strip clubs and make personal appearance at conventions to sign autographs. Things like that are where the money is now.
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I wonder if a porn star is doing all that, what time is left for a relationship?
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That is certainly another valid point to consider when making the decision to get involved with an active porn star.
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To me women who do porn are lower than regular prostitutes, who at least do their business in private. So when they are no longer prostitutes, they can put the past behind them. But the porn women are forever on record. I have also learnt on the internet that some porn people commit suicide, no doubt after they have developed a soul
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Well, I don’t agree with your viewpoint regarding porn stars (or prostitutes, I think it should be legalized), but thanks for reading!
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Many sex workers in Amsterdam are in healthy relationships and sometimes marriages. I think it’s the societal norms associated with sex and sex for money in particular. I wouldn’t be comfortable with my significant other having sex with someone else for money or for free. But had I grown up in a more liberal society where sex and sexuality were not judged as harshly as in the United States, my opinion could be very different.
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Casual dating? Perhaps. But a serious relationship with a porn star? No, probably not.
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I would love to be married to a porn star, I would be so happy and turned on my wife has sex for a livin
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Well, I’ve seen many porn stars who are married or in relationships, so there are plenty of people who can handle it. I’m just not one of them.
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