Written by Christina Hodson
Directed by Andy Muschietti
Warner Bros. Pictures

I finally got to see this movie for myself. I had planned to see it in the theaters when it was released in June, but just didn’t get the chance, so I’ve been waiting for it to be released on streaming, which it just was on Friday. And I’m just going to come right out and say that I can’t remember the last time I was this disappointed in a film.

Maybe it was when I saw that wack Independence Day sequel? But even then my expectations for that film were a little tempered because Will Smith wasn’t in it. But I still thought it would be good. It wasn’t.

To be clear, I was never the biggest fan of the Barry Allen version of The Flash. When it comes to comic books, I basically grew up with Wally West (Barry’s nephew) taking over as The Flash after Barry died, so Wally was “my” Flash. And I wasn’t particularly blown away by Ezra Miller’s portrayal of Barry Allen’s Flash in the Justice League movie (note: I’m only talking about the theatrical cut, I have not seen the Synder cut). They were fine in the role as it was written, but it wasn’t a breakout performance. Nevertheless, I was really hyped for this film ever since I saw the first teaser which showed Michael Keaton’s Batman. I couldn’t wait to see him in action again, and then I heard the film had a time travel plot, and I love time travel stories. So this film seemed like it would be right up my alley, as the saying goes.

And there were other things, like the fact that the new regime at Warner Bros. chose to stand behind this film, despite Ezra Miller’s well-publicized legal troubles and accusations, when they had no problem cutting the completed Batgirl film for supposedly not being good enough, so I figured that it must be really good. And all the initial reports were that early test screenings were fantastic, as were most of the early reviews that I’d watched on YouTube, with some viewers calling it the greatest superhero film ever, so I couldn’t wait.

Then after the release the box office failure surprised me, I knew that didn’t necessarily speak to the quality of the film. Plenty of good films fail, just like many bad films succeed (with good and bad being subjective, of course). Plus most of my online friends who’ve seen the film loved it. So I was still ready to see it and judge for myself. I’d managed to avoid most spoilers, I knew we were getting a came of Nic Cage (my favorite actor) as an alternate version of Superman, which was one more reason to get me excited for this film, plus the plot twist of George Clooney returning as Bruce Wayne in the end, but I was still pretty fresh going into this.

First, I’ll start with The Good.

Okay, yeah, it was nice seeing Michael Keaton again. Every time he was in action as Batman they’d play the old Danny Elfman theme music from the Tim Burton films, & I’d get goosebumps. Sasha Calle was pretty cool as a version of Supergirl, I would like to see her return as the character in the planned Supergirl movie (although that seems unlikely based on this film’s failure). I like that the film included certain comic-book elements of The Flash’s lore, like him wearing a special ring that holds his costume, and his ability to phase through solid objects. And the little Nic Cage scene was pretty cool.

Now, for The Bad.

Everything else.

The basic plot of this film is pretty good. Barry discovers that he can travel through time by running so fast that he enters the “speed force.” And, although he’s cautioned against it by Batman (Ben Affleck’s version), he decides to go back in time and prevent his mother from being murdered when he was 8, which had led to his father being falsely arrested and convicted for her murder. He does this and saves his mother, but instead of returning to the present, he ends in 2013, where his mother is alive and his parents are happy, but he also meets his younger self and finds out that his time traveling has altered other aspects of the timeline (Keaton’s Bruce Wayne tries to explain it, but it’s just convoluted) and now the world is in danger and Barry keeps trying to fix things with more time travel, which also puts other parallel worlds in danger and Barry eventually has to make the decision to put history back the way it happened and let his mother die. This includes Barry meeting and teaming up with his 18-year-old self, who also gains Flash powers, and getting Keaton’s Bruce Wayne out of retirement to become Batman again, and them finding out that Superman doesn’t exist in this time, so they find and enlist his cousin Kara because they need her to help stop General Zod and the other Kryptonians from destroying Earth.

Now despite all of these fantastical story ideas, somehow this film still manages to be boring. 

Most of the super-speed scenes are shot in slow motion and just hold no dramatic tension, not even when Barry is trying to save half a dozen infants who fell out of a building. Barry’s teenage self comes off like a brat with ADHD most of the time. The special effects in the speed force look ridiculous, as do most of the digital recreations of the other superheroes, like Christopher Reeves’ Superman, and I just never felt connected to the main Barry, nor cared about what was happening to him. And there’s a pointless post-credits scene involving Aquaman, which just makes that character look stupid.

It’s such a shame because there was so much potential here, but it never comes close to living up to it. The Flash gets a hard pass from me.